More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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