She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
