she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would fuck him just for his dog
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