There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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