Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
