Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
