dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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