Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.

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  (813): The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp. http://tfl.nu/6snw
  Replies (22) Good night (2954) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  wtf?

  (904): View more from Florida

  It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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  (904): Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum' (1-904): wtf? (904): It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend' http://tfl.nu/kgyk
  Replies (14) Good night (4267) Bad night (739)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is

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  (704 ): I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is http://tfl.nu/z1kt
  Replies (108) Good night (13104) Bad night (1823) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (5068) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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  (248): I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/icyg
  Replies (11) Good night (1187) Bad night (2469) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.

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  (225): Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess. http://tfl.nu/8pax
  Replies (47) Good night (4663) Bad night (1257) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He is like the real live version of the state fair..

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  (501): He is like the real live version of the state fair.. http://tfl.nu/cptf
  Replies (16) Good night (642) Bad night (2661) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

  (1-714): View more from California

  i'm so jealous of you right now.

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  (714): so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;) (1-714): i'm so jealous of you right now. http://tfl.nu/egrq
  Replies (57) Good night (8803) Bad night (1381)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

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  (817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz
  Replies (12) Good night (1302) Bad night (5227) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.

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  (215): Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me. http://tfl.nu/119t
  Replies (10) Good night (3095) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.

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  (303): She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub. http://tfl.nu/e0e1
  Replies (4) Good night (2921) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.

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  (615): You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy. http://tfl.nu/cdg1
  Replies (10) Good night (629) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it

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  (805): There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it http://tfl.nu/82im
  Replies (6) Good night (1054) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.

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  (760): The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here. http://tfl.nu/qr6c
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (754)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat

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  (303): Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat http://tfl.nu/1yef
  Replies (6) Good night (839) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt

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