You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.