I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dicks are not precious.