I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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