According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
