What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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