i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
