...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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