theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
BRING THE BAGELS
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
