Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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