sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
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My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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