You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Semen is not good for contacts.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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