North Korea, Best Korea!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
