I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
