Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize