kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
