All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
now i know why i became what i already was.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
