I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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