so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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