whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
