No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
