I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize