his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
