Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
