I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
