I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
