kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize