Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
3pm strippers are depressing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
