just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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