He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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