glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
