just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
