dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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