But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize