I think I just saw someone hide a body.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
