i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
