I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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