He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
