Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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