isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
