what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize