this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
