Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
