Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
