She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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