Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
