He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
