I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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