Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
