Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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