Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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