margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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