Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
