it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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