WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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