she kept yelling 'call me bella'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
