Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
