Porn is love you can see.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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