I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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