I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
