6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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