bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
